Old Website Updates

March 2010 I feel like I should call this our monthly or yearly or update.  For those of you who follow us, I apologize. It's been a very strange and stressful last 3 months.  We are still working with the IRS to get our 501(c)(3) status.  Our first response from them, I think about a year ago now, contained about 17 questions.  The last one only had 2.  So we are getting close! In one exchange with the IRS I was told that I cannot sell my artwork on our website unless I want the copyright to belong to The Rat Retreat.  Since I want to retain my copyrights, I will not be selling rat-related art on this site, but will have a link on this site, as well as links to other rat-related art.  I don't think I'm disallowed from mentioning it as long as I'm not trying to sell it.  So I'll just say the last 3 months has been really busy at my school studio and my home studio with one result being a 9 foot rat that ended up in a gallery! The way I justify choosing between making rat art and doing other work for The Rat Retreat is that I am hoping through art to promote rats as the lovable creatures they are, Remynd people that we have domesticated them and thus need to take care of them and maybe do some in-your-face things about how we are treating them.  I went to a workshop that was sponsored by the city and have very high hopes of getting some rat-related art out in public. The 2nd thing we've been juggling has been rat retreat duties between myself and Don with no employees and no volunteers.  From time to time we get a flicker of interest from a volunteer or a group, but the only one that showed up has not finished his promised hours.  I know the economy has got everyone struggling.  We always believe things turn out for the best though.  And because of our dilemma, we have made some changes to The Rat Retreat that are better for us and way better for the rats.  They went from having from 2 to 6 hours out per week to being out at least 10 hours a day.  We have the cages on tables and have the tables set up in the living room like a maze.  And it's amazingly easier to take care of them! I'm no longer able to clean cages at all.  But Don has become an expert. And that brings me to the 3rd thing that has kept us crazy busy.  I have spent about 1,000,000 hours studying homeopathy.  It all started with Remy. Remy belonged to the sister of a volunteer that I had interviewed.  We had a policy that we are not taking in any more rats, but I made an exception in this case.  The owner was moving and didn't think that Remy would hold up for a 16 hour drive.  I've taken in several rats for what turns out to be their last few days or few weeks.  And somehow it's easier to take one more when you think you're making them comfortable for the last little bit of their life.  But I was very reluctant.  We really have been overloaded and can't keep up, as it is.  As soon as I saw the scrawny little thing, though, my heart went out to her.  She was so tiny and bald she looked like a hairless rat.  Her history was that she was over 2 years old, was just beginning to show 2 tumors, and of course had respiratory disease.  She had never been spayed.  They brought her diet with her, which was for gerbils and hamsters.  Obviously she had been much loved, but the owner had not gotten the knowledge that she needed to take proper care of her because she was also covered with lice.  I have never seen a rat with so many lice.  I thought she had a horrible case of dandruff until I took her to the vet. The first week she was with us, she had 3 episodes of severe respiratory distress in which we thought we would lose her.  We started treating her lice with homeopathic treatments, but finally had to go to revolution to get rid of them.  It took 2 doses.  Now, everyone else is showing signs of nits, darn it. Remy's fur was really patchy, which we weren't sure was due to old age or the lice.  I'm thinking now, it was mostly the lice, because her fur is growing really nicely.  I took before and after pictures, but the before pictures are from far away.  So I'm not sure you'll be able to tell, but I'll post them anyway. With Remy's host of problems, I did not feel comfortable in treating her in the usual ways.  Her conditions were acute, and I knew I needed to  start treating those tumors before they grew anymore.  One is in the worst possible place, in the groin area.  So I began to do a serious study of homeopathy.  I've dipped into it now and then for myself and for the rats, at one time even joining Holistarats.  But I didn't have the time or the inclination to learn something so new and involved.  But Remy was the catalyst, and we have her to thank for all the treatment that the other rats have received. We have had some amazing results.  Usually, when we hear a rat wheezing so loudly we can hear them across the room, they get worse and end up needing intensive nursing care before getting better.  Twice since Remy has been here, we have had this issue from 2 different rats.  We keep all the rats on doxycycline and enrofloxin.  We were treating all of the rats with Biochemics, and with various respiratory remedies and both of the rats quit wheezing. It's not as simple as that.  I've checked out to library books and rejoined Holistarats and still don't have a handle on it by any means.  I have not been diligent about noting what works and what doesn't.  It's been more of a catch as catch can.  However, Remy was here on March 2, and today she is still alive and doing well.  She is definitely feeling better than when she first arrived.  The first night (she sleeps with us because she doesn't have a roommate), we heard a constant thump thump  from her scratching.  Now, she rarely scratches.  She went through a period where I had to hand feed her every bite she ate.  Now she will stand on her hind legs in order to get some food from a dropper.  She is also able again to hold food in her hands.  She really missed her old food, and one time, when she was doing well, I gave her some.  That evening she went into severe respiratory distress again.  This time I had to give her an injection of Valium and dexamethasone and thought she had about a 2% chance of making it through.  I also rubbed her head up with some Lobelia (which we believe is a lifesaver and should be kept on hand for respiratory distress).  Later that evening she was ready to eat again and by the next morning, her usual peppy self. She is a very happy girl, reminding me of Annie, which is such a blessing.  We lost her whole cage and half of another one within such a short time (Mattie, Lex, Annie, Patsy, Blanche and Berka), some of which we had bought as pets.  Annie was a surrender, but more like a best friend to me.  Especially in her last month or so, she greeted me every time I came in, slept with us at night and was the most enthusiastic, energetic rat I have ever known.  She wagged her whole body.  There have been several times that I have almost called Remy Annie, because they are so much alike in temperament. She occasionally has wheezing problems again and will not eat her doxycycline or baytril.  So we are going back and forth from treating her for wheezing, and her tumors.  I have a huge list of remedies that may treat tumors.  No one knows of anything that works for sure, but a lot of us are trying different things. Besides getting finished with this semester, my main goal is documenting the homeopathy that we are using.  We find it very exciting to get the results that we have and are so thankful to Remy and her owner that she is here.   Response to last weekly update With her permission, this is Debbie Ducummon's response: From: ratlady@ratfanclub.org To: theratretreat@msn.com Subject: Re: would like your input re: antibiotics Date: Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:39:32 -0800 Hi Dawn, I do not think that keeping rats on antibiotics long-term has any danger of creating antibiotic-resistant bacteria.  Resistance comes when the bacteria is exposed to antibiotics for only short periods of time, allowing the bacteria that are somewhat resistant to the antibiotic to survive and recover during the off time.  That is why I highly recommend against "pulsing" antibiotics because during the time when the antibiotic is discontinued, the bacteria can recover.  When the bacteria are exposed to the antibiotic for a long time, they are less likely to be able to develop a resistance to it.   There is no reason not to keep rats on antiobiotics for long periods of time.  I now keep most of my rats over 1 1/2 to 2 years of age on doxycycline for the rest of their life, and since I started doing this the average life span of my rats has increased, and my rats rarely die from lung disease any more, but rather die from things like cancer.  I do not see increased rates of antibiotic resistance in my colony.   The idea that you would take a rat off needed antibiotics and "let nature take its course" absolutely repulses me.  You said you would not like to live on antibiotics all your life, but if it keeps you feeling well, why not?  Let's say you were sick, and there was a medicine you could take to keep you living well, but someone said you can't have it because it's not right for you to be on medication the rest of your life, and we're just going to let you die of the disease, how would you feel?  It is not right to deny antibiotics to rats who need them.   When you have rats who seem to not be responding to doxy or Baytril any more, do you ever try them on amoxcillin again?  Older rats can get secondary infections that don't respond to doxy and Baytril, and amoxi usually kicks it.  I have now found that you can give both doxy and amoxi at the same time when neccessary because they do not work on the same bacteria. Deb   12/17/09 Finals week with only Don and I doing the cages, playtime, meds, etc.  It's been tricky. I'm painting my 8' rat sculpture today. Today had a revealing conversation with a vet that is leading to huge changes. I've posted an open letter below, inviting comment. I hope this will make things better--simpler for Don and I and better for our current and future rats. Dear Drs., Don and Debbie, After talking with Dr. Baumwart this morning and recalling some things that had been niggling at the back of my mind, I propose some changes to our system of healthcare.  I would like to hear all of your input on this and also to ask Dr. Konsella and Dr. Baumwart to be on our board of directors to help us make decisions like this in the future. We have been using Debbie Ducommun's Rat Health Care booklet, which has been tremendously helpful.  Debbie has reminded me a couple of times that she is not a qualified vet.  So now we are taking the information she has given us and expanding on it. For the last 2 years we've been using her flowcharts.  However in the last year, since we took in 15 rats who were being bred for snake food, the flowcharts have no longer been working for us. The changes started with us taking 3 rats to Dr. Baumwart for echocardiograms and x-rays to verify that they had heart disease.  We had all 3 of the rats on enalapril, according to the flowcharts, so they should've had heart disease because the enalapril was working.  All 3 rats had pneumonia and no heart problems at all. Dr. Baumwart suggested Zithromax and pulse dosing as he had seen that work for other animals.  One of our employees had noticed some possible healthcare problems related to coloring and heredity.  So I incorporated all of that new information into the flowchart.  I have attached a copy of Debbie's flowcharts and my revised flowchart.  Debbie suggests that if a treatment causes improvement to continue to give it probably for the rest of the rat's life, which is what I was doing. I had called Dr. Baumwart to get more refills on Zithromax this morning.  He called me back and we talked about herd health and superbugs.  I will not try to repeat back everything I talked to him about, because I don't want to misquote him.  I will say though that this morning as I was doing medicines, I realized that one of our very young rats is not getting any better on Zithromax.  And I wondered if we are going to need to give it to him for the rest of his life.  He is not even a year old yet and it just didn't feel right.  What went through my mind is thinking maybe we should just let nature take its course. I have also often wondered about the wisdom of giving well rats antibiotics, however, feeding the whole cage was the last-ditch way to get the sick rats to take their medicine.  I did not think about the possibility of creating superbugs by this habit.  Now that I realize, by trying to force one to live, I am potentially making 8 more sick. There are many like that.  What one of the employees had noticed is that if the mother is sick, and the mother is light colored, her light colored children will also be sick, while her dark colored children may be well.  We don't know who the fathers are, but that pattern has seemed to fit very well. Something I realized after talking to Dr. Baumwart is that too of the rats he examined has been housed with 4 other rats, 3 of whom are now sick.  I wondered if we had left those 2 separate or not treated them with Zithromax, would those other 3 have gotten sick.  They became sick quickly and also at a young age. All of my suggestions can be credited to Dr. Baumwart, except for the comfort issues.  I will let him speak for himself on all the reasons why. 1.I propose that we immediately separate sick rats from well rats.  The rats could be kept in 3 categories: completely well, slightly ill, and those not responding to medicine within a reasonable period such as 3 weeks.  The latter category could be kept in my office.  Though Debbie says that shared air flow will pass the diseases back-and-forth, we will at least have a visual reminder. 2.When rats are clearly only being kept alive by continual doses of antibiotics, they will be removed from antibiotics and kept comfortable with prednisone, subcutaneous fluids and homeopathic or herbal remedies.  Before giving any more medication, I will be doing research to find out how long each rat has been on antibiotics and make changes accordingly.  The goal will be to get and keep basically healthy rats healthy and to allow nature to take its course with rats, who are sickly and likely to remain sick.  As I told Dr. Baumwart, I have been sick, but certainly would not want to be kept on antibiotics for rest of my life.  And I am continually seeking lifestyle changes and other means of getting off of any medication.  We will give rats every opportunity to get well and or live comfortably as long as they are here, but do not want to risk getting other rats or ourselves sick in the process of playing God. 3. Sanitation will be increased by using a solution of one part bleach and 32 parts water, after thorough cleansing of the cage belonging to a rat that has died.  Waterless sanitizers will be placed around the house to be used in between handling well and sick rats.  After a waterless sanitizers used, it will be allowed to dry on the hands.  When rats are out of their cages, their free time will be spent with rats that are in similar health.  No bedding or toys will be shared between sick and well rats.  We will also keep on hand disinfecting wipes and regularly wipe doorknobs, countertops or any surfaces that may have come in contact with sick rats. Thank you, Dawn Burke The Rat Retreat   11/27/09 We've been learning some hard lessons here. Annie died on November 16.  The next day we lost all 4 of our employees.  Today we found out Dudley has cancer. There so many things I would have done differently had I to do them over again.  However we are writing the book.  We have lots of advice from Debbie Ducommun's books, our vets and online.  However no one to go to about how to run a sanctuary.  I'm really glad for the things we've learned that we can share with other people.  We made some really exciting health discoveries, and definitely gone beyond what others have learned.  But some days it's just not fun.  Of course, we got into it because of love. For that reason, we are looking for a new city in which to house The Rat Retreat.  There are only 2 "experts" on rat care here, which makes it very expensive.  Also it means that we have to make a lot of decisions ourselves.  As laypersons that can be a heavy burden. Also, there is not a lot of sympathy or empathy for rats here.  Getting volunteers has been extremely difficult.  Getting employees was extremely difficult.  The environment has not been very supportive. Annie had so many things going on with her, I believe she just died of the complications of old age.  The last few days we were constantly giving her sub-Q fluid's.  The next to the last day I noticed scaly skin, which I asked an employee with better eyesight to look at.  She was able to peel big scabby patches of skin off along with the fur.  It was horrifying.  My research has led me to believe that it was a type of mange that dogs and cats usually get.  Because of that, it was almost a relief that she died.  Then with the employees leaving, her around-the-clock care left.  Don and I are in school, and I don't know what we would've done if she hadn't died.  As it was we had the employees checking on her and giving her fluid as needed every 4 hours.  She sometimes had to be hand fed and would not drink on her own.  The last month was a round of serving new beverages, trying to find something she would drink, as well as phone calls and research, trying to find out why she wouldn't drink.  We tried every possible method of getting her to drink.  She liked the drop by drop off my finger the best.  Unfortunately, that method was very slow. Thinking back, there are probably 5 different medical decisions, I would've made.  Hindsight. She, Lex and Mattie, who were all 3 surrendered to us together, are buried next to each other.  Our consolation is knowing that they are now well and together again. We were hiring employees through a temp service.  I had become exhausted with all the red tape of hiring employees on our own.  That process wasn't much less work, because we kept going through so much training just to have people leave after a day or 2.  I requested that we only receive people who loved rats and had experience with rats.  We found that some peoples' idea of experience was passing by a rat in a relative's cage (or was that a mouse?!). All the while, we had been counting on that 501(c)(3) process to go through so we could apply for grants, accept tax-deductible donations, etc.  I did not realize it would be a year-long process.  The last paperwork we got from the IRS only asked 12 more questions instead of the previous 22.  However, some of the things they want are going to take quite a while to gather up.  Also one of the employees I had hired was experienced in grant seeking and public relations, but we kept her so busy with the day-to-day operations, she didn't have much time to do any of that.  In hindsight, I would have done the business work first before taking in so many rats, assuring a way to pay employees.  But how to tell that to the last 15 rats we rescued and all their children?  No, I couldn't do that, but I did learn a lot of lessons about having employees that I will use in the future. Last lesson was listen to my instincts.  Dudley developed a tumor on the nineteenth, a half inch wide, overnight.  I made that appointment with the doctor I consider to be an expert surgeon, immediately.  Today was the soonest he could get in.  I knew however, that the surgery would be around $400.  So meanwhile I tried to get in touch with our local humane society hoping for a better price.  Also, I started him on prednisone and tamoxifen to shrink the tumor.  In examining the tumor myself.  I could feel that it was loose, except for one little thread of connection.  So my guess was benign.  Though this was a male rat,  I believed it was a mammary tumor due to location.  The second day, however, I had to change my first guess.  The tumor had doubled overnight and felt as if it were firmly attached.  I believed it was probably malignant, and probably would be inoperable.  I called and changed the appointment for surgery to an appointment for a checkup.  I let myself be talked into keeping the surgery appointment and having the checkup beforehand.  We all know how your emotions get involved when you're actually there.  I should have been firm about the checkup.  Of course after the checkup, in which the doctor said, because of my first examination of the lump, she felt she could remove it, I signed up for payments on a bill that may be up to $440. I just received the news, though, that she couldn't remove it all because it's grown into his rib cage and around his jugular and all we have done is "buy him some time."  For me, $440 for another day would be worth it.  However, animals have a higher consciousness. They are usually more secure about what happens next. I wish I had listened to what I felt Dudley was telling me all along -- -- "leave me alone." Now, he may spend his last few days recovering from the pain and discomfort of surgery, having peanut butter-wrapped tamoxifen constantly pushed on him and who knows how long he'll have or whether he will enjoy it or not.  The only positive thing I can think of now is the other lesson we learned in all of this.  Rats must have 8 hours of darkness each day in order to prevent tumors.  We have read this and knew it but could not come up with a way to provide it until it cost us $440 and the precious life of one rat.  Don gets up very early some days to go to work and has to have some light.  Sometimes we stay up late, and though we try to remember to keep the door shut and the lights off., occasionally, we don't.  Today I decided we could make cage covers from blackout material.  This is what it took for me to have this idea.  We will also be starting our rats on melatonin now that they have been over-exposed to daylight, in hopes that none of the rest of them has to go through this.  Anyone want to reserve a copy of my future book, "How to Run a Sanctuary for Rats?"   11/8/09 I stopped by Darla's cage this morning, put both of my hands in and they swarmed me, sniffing and holding onto my fingers, very carefully covering every micrometer.  I thought to myself, "they're getting the morning news."  I don't think there was very much for them to learn this morning.  I had held Annie and fed her a little water by hand and had breakfast.  However, to them, all of this was vitally important.  We tell our employees when the rats want to sniff your hands, let them.  This is how they are gathering information.  The most time-consuming information time is the evening news.  This happens when we hand out meds or dinner.  Think about doing this for 12 cages or 58 rats.  It's exponential.  The last cage takes a lot longer than the first cage because there is a whole lot more information on your hands by then.  They are all in the same room, and rats have such an excellent sense of smell, you would think they learn everything they want to know.  But no, somewhere buried down deep in the cells on my hand is a juicy piece of gossip that they just have to know! I was playing with Asha this morning and thought to give an update on her condition.  Back a couple of months ago we thought were going to lose her.  Actually, maybe it was several months ago.  She has had labored breathing, probably for 6 months now and we have done every single thing possible from Debbie's Rat Health Care book, in addition to taking her for x-rays and an echocardiogram.  She had pneumonia. We tried Zithromax and using a pulse dose.  It seems to keep it at bay, but certainly not cure it.  She is still, though, is active as she always has been.  And everybody that comes in here has loved her.  Annie used to be the greeter.  Now that she stays back in our room and can't get around the way she used to, Asha has been taking her place.  When you come to visit The Rat Retreat our little blind Asha will find her way to your foot and climb right into your pants leg waiting for a shoulder ride!   November 3, 2009 We've got lots of things going on here, which is why it's taken me so long to type up another "weekly" update.  Personnel Plus has blessed us by sending us two awesome women to run things -- -- Lindsey as office manager and Stephanie as labor manager.  Together they keep this place running and are definitely improving operations.  We finally got a mailing out for volunteer groups.  We are inviting school and other groups to come out and help.  The main thing we need help with is cleaning cages, but we are also open to have people helping in the areas where their interests lie--fund-raising, animal training, nursing care, etc. Speaking of nursing care Annie is requiring daily supervision.  We are guessing that she has the same problem that her son died of,  thrombocytopenia, and are going by Debbie's rat health care booklet to treat her.  Yesterday we had to give her subcutaneous fluids twice.  She obviously has the will to keep going, because when she is alert, she eats eagerly.  She appears to have had a series of strokes, though, and occasionally we find her severely lethargic.  So the challenge with her is checking her every couple of hours and making sure she is alert and, if she is not, figuring out what to do.  So many times I've thought she was ready to go, but either the subcutaneous fluids or rubbing something sweet on her gums has brought her right back.  And after getting some ear rubs, she wants down to eat.  We've been feeding her mostly baby food, but I think she is reminding me that she has adult taste buds, because she seems to prefer my spinach pancakes or yogurt and cereal or other grown-up things.  The most curious thing is we are not able to get her to drink except for a little bit off of our fingers.  We have a sipper bottle for her, baby food jar caps stuck on cans with magnets and ceramic dishes.  We've tried plain water, water with agave syrup (which she loves) and sea salt, Power Ade, and apple juice.  She does enjoy orange juice but you can't leave it sitting out for long.  Hope to update you on this mystery soon with some answers!   October 11, 2009 Early this morning I awakened and got up out of bed as if being pulled by a tractor beam.  I thought I just needed to go to the bathroom, but as I went to pick up Annie on the way back to bed, I realized it was Annie getting me out of bed.  She must've been lying there on the floor thinking, "get up, get up, get up." She wanted to finish the cookie she left in bed the night before. Annie lost her 2 companions over the summer, and also developed hind leg paralysis, supposedly from thrombocytopenia.  We've had moments when we thought she had a stroke, when she didn't seem altogether there, but for the most part, she's been getting around pretty good.  She celebrated her third birthday in July.  I put her with another group for while but then she really seemed to want to be alone so we set up our closet for her.  That way, she doesn't have to climb in and out of the cage anymore. Knowing that she needs 4 hours of attention a day, I have our employees go by and spend time with her, giving her massages, cleaning up her area, and of course bringing her 3 meals a day of baby food or molasses mix.  I tried to bring her into bed with us by just straight out asking Don, but he was afraid he'd roll over on her.  Then one night came when I was really worried about her, so I kept her with me and somehow or another it became a nightly habit.  I brought Annie to bed with me.  When Don came to bed he would get her and put her back in her place.  Then he quit putting her back.  And now she just sleeps with us. Sometimes she likes to cuddle under my chin.  Sometimes she likes me to hold my hand certain ways so that she can use my hand as a brace to clean herself (she does a really good job of cleaning herself even with her paralysis).  Most of the time, though, she goes to the middle of our king size bed and takes her spot.  She climbs under the covers, right smack in the middle like she knows she's really a person.  She hasn't asked for a pillow yet, but I wouldn't be surprised.

Ciddo

Dirty lovable poopy-footed boys… Dirty being the operative word as I cleaned out their cage today. I had to do the cage in 15 minute increments… Still sick. Absolutely disgusted, I wrinkled my nose as I noticed the vast amount of feces spread from one end to the other of each cage floor right next to each litter box. For the 1 millionth time, I muttered “these are the dirtiest boys I’ve ever seen.” Sitting down on the sofa with them to rest I felt someone staring at me…Ciddo with his soft, loving, warm gaze. I said his name and his whole body perked up. I reached to pick him up and he wiggled with delight. That’s what keeps me going through poopy cages. I’ll never forget the day I picked out Ciddo… Yes, picked him out, even though he was rescued. The person surrendering had bought a pregnant pet store rat, two of them as a matter of fact, and asked me to take the babies. We were already numbering 40 plus rats at the time and there was no way I could take all of those babies. But I took some of them. I went over and picked out the ones that I would take. At that time we were not adopting. We were a sanctuary only. So I knew they would spend the rest of their lives with me. When I picked Ciddo, our first Dumbo eared resident, the person surrendering was very excited. She said she had been worried about him because he seemed to develop early, being a little too eager to mount the females. If I remember correctly he was barely four weeks old. Ciddo didn’t get a whole lot of attention his first year. We had too many rats. Every once in awhile I would give him a little special attention, remembering him as the one I had picked out. But it’s only been in the last year that I’ve really been able to focus on him. After they went back in their cage I took some photos. I got some good shots but there was a sense of poignancy. Earlier when I had been with them on the sofa and they all wiggled over to climb into my lap, I started telling them how much I loved them and would miss them. At 2 ½ years old I knew it wouldn’t be long. Getting the cute shots, I couldn’t help but notice the age and illness in their faces same as I do when I look in the mirror at my own. Jackson always has porphyrin around his eyes. Floyd’s right eye bothers him more. Floyd stopped at the bottom of the ramp today. He had to rest to gather up the energy to climb. Even Ciddo was no longer his young energetic self. When he stopped to rest his head on Jackson’s back, I knew it was because he needed to rest. I still remember when these boys were the little boys and we had another group of boys that we would call the big boys. Those boys have been long gone and I can barely remember them. I remember their names and the way they looked, but I have forgotten some of the details of their personalities. I don’t know whether it’s because we’ve had so many rats come through here or just because time erases some of those things. But I was determined today to get these things written down so I always remember.

What Matters Most

Learned in a doctor visit: I have every right to be controlling over every circumstance of my life…and no wonder. I have been ill my whole life, due to genetics. I should enjoy controlling what little I can! I do not have to feel guilty when I get “extras” or get “out” of unpleasantness from being sick, because I also miss out on good things and have to be involved in unpleasant circumstances from being sick. My doctors have tried to get me to avoid stress, but I don’t think I understood that I really could before. Now I see my list of tasks and it is easy. I see that I don’t have to do many of the things on my list. Some stressful things can’t be avoided…taxes for instance…but so many can. I have been a taskmaster to myself and been the subject of taskmasters as a child. The rest of my life is going to be about enthusiasm and joy. I need the control of scheduling my every hour, but instead of scheduling so much unpleasantness, I am scheduling 2 hours of things I feel enthusiasm for (painting) followed by 15 minutes of unpleasantness (taxes). In reading “What Matters Most” I understand the point that the journey, not the goal, is what’s important. I dreamed of leaving The Rat Retreat behind when I die, but is that the point? Will it be the same thing 50 years from now? Likely not. But what I do in building it will matter…educating, making decisions, loving each rat I handle. And making sure that how I do it is a blessing to myself, not a stressor…matters above all. Without that, I cannot do any of the rest.

Back in the saddle

Two months ago, I last blogged here. That was around the time volunteers moved my computer … the end of the Windows Speech Recognition for a while. No one knows what happened. Countless people have looked at it; I spent hours researching solutions. Finally Don was able to figure it out after “something occurred to him.” Only the front ports work anymore. I’ve been typing a lot during this time, but there is so much communication necessary in my life and my muscles are so weak that 45 minutes a day of typing does me in. As a matter of fact, a ganglion cyst appeared within hours of a particularly long typing session. I’ve missed being able to chat with the board about every idea that pops into my head, but I think I’ve learned a lesson about how much to say (or rather how much people want to hear). In “The Time Trap,” Alec Mackenzie points out is that the things that wind up at the bottom of our to do list probably don’t need to be done after all. Most of the ideas I want to propose to the board are of low urgency and therefore at the bottom. However, blogging is near the top of my to do list. “Will it matter in a year from now?” Alec Mckenzie tells you to ask yourself, and “Is it urgent?” Yes and yes I have to answer. Blogging helps me keep depression under control and helps me sort out my thoughts. At one time, I had considered closing down The Rat Retreat. All of the support we have had over the last two months has banished that thought from my mind, however. The number of virtual volunteers and increase in donations has astounded me. But I definitely will reduce the number of rats that I take care of here. I’m realizing more and more my physical limitations and can’t keep risking my body to clean cages. The fact that I’m not immortal has reared its ugly head. I had a diabetes scare and a nurse actually used the phrase “5 to 15 years” to describe how long it would be until I’m on insulin. That definitive phrase was a horrible wakeup call. I also considered that it’s terribly unfair to homeless rats to take them in knowing that I may suddenly be unable to properly care for them. I dropped an empty cage recently and wrenched my shoulder badly enough to remember how easily I could become incapacitated. We do not have enough local interest in running The Rat Retreat to provide help in case that happens. At the same time I came to these sad realizations though, a thought about growing the scope of what The Rat Retreat can do had been brewing in my mind. I believe we can go national. I know we can develop a transport system because we have some dedicated volunteers hard at work on it right now. This system will be something like Boise, Idaho’s “Dog Is My Co-pilot,” which transports dogs from one shelter to another, only we will transport rats from one shelter to another across the nation. That way the adopter who can’t find a rescue rat to adopt in Mississippi will now be able to get a rescue rat from Idaho, for example, which will be particularly helpful in a hoarding situation. We could also build up a network of foster homes...an untapped potential around here. The other thing I’d like to see The Rat Retreat do, the possibility of which we will have to check into, is to help other rat rescues around the nation. Most of the other rat rescues do not have 501C3 status, due to the amount of paperwork and money that it takes to obtain. I’m hoping we will be able to figure out a way that we can take donations here for everyone and disperse them fairly to rescues all over the nation. (Sidenote: fairly being the operative word here… I’ve been reading “Why Good People Do Bad Things,” by James Hollis. Having that much power will be intimidating for me.) The most recent incident I need to write to the board about (which I’m doing here) is my dealing with Dun & Bradstreet. I owe three board members a big apology. I was in a panic about an “urgent” request from D&B and requested overnight board applications. Three board members complied, one of them with an arm injury. Knowing they went through that made me even more bitterly disappointed and disillusioned about “the system “after my conversation with D&B the next day. “Dun & Bradstreet (D&B) provides a D-U-N-S Number, a unique nine digit identification number, for each physical location of your business,” according to http://fedgov.dnb.com/webform. “D-U-N-S Number assignment is FREE for all businesses required to register with the US Federal government for contracts or grants.” In order to apply for grants, even with nongovernment entities though, one has to register the DUNS number with The Central Contractor Registration (CCR) system “a highly secure, single repository of vendor data used governmentwide.” I obtained the duns number years ago, but the process of registering the number with the CCR was so convoluted I gave up. I have a total of eight years of college maintaining a GPA of 3.56, but readily understanding any instructions coming from the government is far beyond my capabilities. But I gritted my teeth and pushed my way through the process, going to the CCR website, which sent me some place called Sam, which sent me to Iupdate, which would not allow me to change our former address. One phone call and another form later, I received an alarming e-mail from D&B denying my update until I had a phone interview. I expected that D&B would need all of our business information including addresses of board members, which is why I wrote to them in a panic. They certainly did need business information. They sent me a form to fill out before the interview requesting the expected information. What shocked me though was that they did not go over this information during the phone interview. Instead they told me I could not have a “complete report” on file until we shelled out $279. When I protested that this would nearly wipe out our bank account, the amount was reduced to $229. Basically the urgent need was for them to collect money from us. Big old Dun &Bradstreet needs money from a little animal sanctuary residing in a double wide trailer in a slummy neighborhood, in order for us to keep rescuing the community’s rats. I hope the irony isn’t wasted on you. I learned the terms “the system” or “the man” as I went through my wanna-be-hippie days in the early seventies. Somewhere between then and now, though, I became naive, believing everyone had the best of intentions including our government and Wall Street. I did not want to believe anything negative about anyone or any entity, for that matter. All naiveté has disappeared, since starting The Rat Retreat, and I miss it. I tried to bury my head in the sand for a while by ignoring any dealings with anything bigger than the local humane society, but with a little push from our chairwoman I have been making my way through the processes I had been ignoring. Then attracting a donor who wanted to make regular donations by payroll deduction burst another bubble of mine. I find out that the IRS did not have us listed in their exempt charities, though we received our nonprofit status four years ago. I have never had an issue with the IRS. I shelled out hundreds of dollars paying taxes on having employees the first year, without protest. Each year I shell out another $200 for tax software so I can let them know that our expenses still exceed our income that indeed, yes, we are still a nonprofit. (This after spending even more getting an accounting firm and H&R Block to screw things up for us, requiring countless hours and dollars on our end). Yes I’m going to keep running The Rat Retreat. I need it, I believe the world needs to do it and certainly the rats need it. But I’m hoping to attract some volunteers to take some of these nasty dealings off of my shoulders and let me keep what innocence I have left.

Birthing Pains

Regaining my freedom is easier to talk about than to do, as evidenced by today's gut-wrenching decisions. The long-time volunteer who was supposed to train two new volunteers today, called and cancelled 2 hours previous to the start of her shift. The previous week she had told me to make a longer to-do list, so, of course, I had a long list, 2 new people on my hands and other plans. I had already started out the day still sick myself, so certainly didn't feel up to doing the work of two people, plus this was supposed to be my vacation from training and dealing with people. First I cried. I cried long and hard, after scooping up Floyd for comfort. Then I had to make decisions. I knew what I wanted to do, but the gut-wrenching part is battling with what I feel I should do. Shouldn't I take advantage of people wanting to help? One new volunteer was supposed to drop off an application. I didn't even feel like answering the door, much less seeing people. I did not think she would be a long-term volunteer, based on the phone call from her mom, so decided I wouldn't waste my time. When I called to cancel, I discovered she is under our minimum age anyway. The hard part, though, was hearing that she wants to volunteer because she wants a rat. What a wonderful opportunity it would have been...to train someone on how to take good care of her rat. But, I decided, I will never get time for me if I jump on every opportunity sent my way. The other new person was interested in caring for rats and doing office work. I can't see my desk due to the big stack of office work. But training takes time and there is no guarantee anyone will stay. So I called and cancelled her, too. Possibly having her here today would have made the difference between my getting a cage clean or not. But today I chose me. I chose to spend my day alone, follow through with my plans and hope tomorrow I feel like tackling the list of chores from today. Painful, but peaceful.

Finding Peace

I finally found some peace tonight, in what to do with The Rat Retreat. It came in the form of an old, unopened email that was filtered by mistake. The email, about the suffering of rats as live food, started a fire in me that got me writing. That writing led me to remember that I have a degree in communication. Then I recalled that the degree was very general. I took mostly journalism, but also advertising, public speaking and marketing classes. I learned how to sell with words. Why have I never used that degree in a job? I went back to school to work on art, which was my minor. So I am an educated, trained artist and writer, running a nonprofit without a salary. When I applied for the 501(c)(3) I chose not to hand over the rights to my artwork to The Rat Retreat, so my son could inherit...my son who owns snakes that eat rats. Are you getting the picture? I sat down with my rat of wisdom, Irene, and talked this out tonight. I will give over the rights to my art, so The Rat Retreat will have all the proceeds...same with writing proceeds. In return, I will draw a salary. I am on social security, so can't make more than about $900 a month anyway. For all the hours I put in here, I deserve that. That was the major point I had to get myself to...is that I deserve to draw a salary. Where the salary will come from...who knows? I don't think it matters. I believe it will all take care of itself. I needed to reach the point of believing I deserve to be the first person that draws a salary from The Rat Retreat. I also needed to overcome the fear of handing over the rights to all my rat-oriented artwork. I've already given everything else of myself to this cause...kind of silly to hold onto that one last thing. My focus has been too narrow. I have been very concerned with the rats in our sanctuary, then the rats in our area. With my focus on writing and art, I can help the domestic rats of the world. As someone recently commented, I need to do what I do best and let others do what they do best. Someone else will be better at running the day-to-day work of The Rat Retreat, but that is not my concern. It's up to the same God who put me here and gave me these skills, to bring in the people with the right skills for those jobs. Until then, we will get by as best we can. But my refocus of energy will certainly bring us a happier atmosphere to work in. Now how to communicate this to volunteers...you see me, but I'm not really here?

Sick Days

Days like the past few are when I really feel like I should give up, for the sake of the rats. I've had a virus...simple thing for people who are relatively healthy and only taking care of themselves. But with my health problems, I get complications. Even vomiting can put me in the hospital. For the past 3 days, the rats have only gotten half of their medications. It has been all I could do to get that 1 dose to them. No way I could do a cage or water bottles. Today I managed meds and folding laundry, which was exhausting. I have had so many people promise me the world, "I'll be there whenever you need me." "You won't be able to get rid of me." Where are they now? They quickly disappear when they realize it is real work, not just fuzzy snuggles. My comfort for today is that they are still alive. Yes, two more of them need to go on meds, but, for now, they are warm, fed and clean. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? If I quit housing The Rat Retreat, who will? What will happen to these homeless rats? Over the years I've had people tell me I had no business doing this with a disability. I've had nasty emails when an expert found I was taking shortcuts in dosing meds and many, many people telling me how I should do things differently. Where are they now? I sure haven't seen them here twice a day...ready to hand out meds! Maybe therein lies the answer...keep doing what I can, and am willing to do. Even if I want to spend more time on art and that leaves less for the rats, at least they've got something no one else is offering. And when someone else rises up to take my place, I'll gladly give it over. Meanwhile, I need to come up with a good phrase for all these "helpful" people.